I remember reading something last year about a live-action VOLTRON movie being put together, and then…bupkiss. “It’s probably for the best,” I pondered to myself one day when I realized that the project seemed to have gone belly-up. “At least now there won’t be a huge, flying lame-ball that will taint my pleasant childhood memories of robotic lions and the villains who hated them.”
But woe is me this day, as news of the movies revival have sprung from The Risky Biz Blog. Some company called Atlas Entertainment is starting the ball rolling again after some people that I’ve never heard of bought up the rights.
The last thing I remember hearing about the VOLTRON movie was that it was going to take place in Manhattan and feature a bunch of jive-talking. Needless to say, it was stupid. I’m really hoping that these new people do some reworking on their story to make it less generic. I mean, seriously, why does everything take place in New York City? I’ve been to NYC, it’s not that great. Get over it! Besides, there’s more inconspicuous places to hide your five giant robotic lions that merge into one gianter (?) humanoid than in the middle of the biggest damn city in the world. And besides, how many facilities in New York actually have the kind of space necessary to create something that big? None of them, because any actual building-of-things is never done in big cities; it’s done in factories that are in suburbs because that’s where the “space for factories” is. So what did these robotic lion builders do? Did they secretly construct gigantic robotic lions somewhere in Indiana, then secretly transport them into New York City and then secretly hide them in a u-haul storage facility because the designer wanted them accessible via the subway from his “flat.” That must be it; never mind, I solved the plot-hole.