Posts Tagged ‘Polar Bears’

Don’t Touch Me Thermostat.

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010

If you’re like me, you miss the good-ole days. You know; back when the world was simpler, polar bears weren’t endangered and Mel Gibson starred in movies that involved shooting and high-kicking people in the face. Well, the polar bears might still be screwed, but at least Mel seems to be coming around! The small victories are sometimes the most important.

After his recent turn as a cop who beats up people in EDGE OF DARKNESS, Mel is also looking to star in a new spy movie called COLD WARRIOR. I know what you’re thinking:

This movie is actually about an ex-Cold War spy (that’s Mel) who must come out of retirement and joins forces with a younger (i.e. lamer) spy to thwart a terrorist threat.

This is the kind of stuff that I really dig! It’s a simple premise that is basically just an excuse to have Mel Gibson beat-up terrorists. I personally don’t think that Mel really needs an excuse, but I’m not his publicist. Anyway; the movie is also being directed by some dude named Shane Black who also wrote LETHAL WEAPON. This is a good sign.

Sooooooo…Dark.

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010

It seems like forever since I posted something related to the world of action cinema, but this time it isn’t my fault…really. Honestly, there just hasn’t been anything happening. I mean, things are so bad right now that I decided to come onto the internet to type up a report about this story from Variety, which says that a book named DARK LIFE will be turned into a movie by some people who call themselves The Gotham Group. We’ve fallen on hard time’s people.

I have never read or heard of the book in question, but thanks to my extensive research I have learned that it is some global warming book about people living on the ocean floor because glaciers melted, everything flooded, polar bears lost their habitat and etc. There’s also a government conspiracy about something and it can only be brought to light by a teenager from the ocean floor and his love interest who happens to still live on the surface. Will they succeed and save the world from certain misinformation?! We’ll just have to tune in to find out…but the answer is “yes.”

This sounds like TOTAL RECALL to me, only you’re replacing Mars with the ocean floor and Arnold Schwarzenegger with some scrawny kid. I don’t find either of those trades worth my time. Your mileage may vary.