Posts Tagged ‘Paul W.S. Anderson’

Sword Fighting.

Thursday, May 13th, 2010

Enjoy clicking this link to get yourself familiar with the idea that Paul W.S. Anderson is making a THREE MUSKETEERS movie in 3-Dimensions. Once you come back, I will let you know that the Heat Vision Blog is saying with text that Ray Stevenson, Luke Evans, Matthew Macfadyen, Milla Jovovich and Logan Lerman have all joined the cast as Porthos, Athos, Aramis, Milady de Winter, and D’Artagnan respectively. It also mentions that Orlando Bloom is in talks to join the cast as a piece of wood supporting a table.

No matter how hard I try (and I’m trying really hard) I can’t raise any excitement over this movie. The Musketeers have been done so many times now that I just can’t see this movie doing anything new with the idea besides pushing dudes lances in my face. And I’m just not down with that…not that I would judge anyone who was…it’s just not me man.

All For Me.

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009

Do you remember when you were a little kid and the Three Musketeers were really cool? Do you remember when you got fifteen years older and they weren’t anymore? Well, Paul W.S. Anderson is about to drudge up your troubled past with yet another film version of THE THREE MUSKETEERS. The bad news is that it is happening; the good news is that it will be in 3D which all but guarantees that the tips of lances will be thrust into the audiences faces on more than one occasion (not in the gay way). This news came from the Heat Vision Blog.

If you didn’t know because you’re some kind of iguana or something, THE THREE MUSKETEERS is about some guy in olde tyme France who wants to join the French army, so he starts following around these three other guys who used to be in the army, but got canned. They then have adventures while wearing large feathered hats.

Now, I know what you’re saying; “do we really need another Musketeers film?” The short answer is “yes.” The long answer is that if a Hollywood studio doesn’t create a new Musketeers movie every five years-or-so, then we’ll all forget that the novel was ever written. Libraries will shred their current copies (confusing them with porn) and future generations will never know the wonders of this classic tome that I never read. It’s all for the children!

Anderson Is Still A Resident.

Tuesday, July 28th, 2009

Well, I’m almost caught up with all the news that slipped through the cracks last week, which (if you’re keeping track) is a good thing. This bit of news comes from Production Weekly, and tells us that director/writer/lover Paul W.S. Anderson will direct RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE. This will be the fourth film in the RESIDENT EVIL series…if you can believe it.

Anderson directed the first RESIDENT EVIL when it was actually taking place at a residence. He was only a writer and producer on the two sequels. This latest movie is said to be the start of another trilogy…sorry.

I can honestly say that I can’t really remember all that much about the first three RESIDENT EVIL‘s besides the fact that they weren’t all that good. The first one was alright in a goofy kind of way, but they stretched the same joke out for two more movies and it got worse and worse, until my brain decided that it wasn’t worth its time to actually remember any of it and shut down. I don’t think AFTERLIFE has much of a chance at being, what I like to call, “good.”

Dodged A Whip.

Thursday, May 28th, 2009

Looking down on the world and seeing all the problems currently facing humanity, God has decided to intervene in the mortal plane and scrap the proposed movie version of the video-game CASTLEVANIA. The movie was being written by Paul W.S. Anderson and Ian Jeffers which is the film version of the kiss of death.

It seems the original director Sylvain White became unattached to the movie, possibly because of the poop-factor, and they couldn’t find anyone to fill his shoes. Read all about it at Bloody Disgusting.