Action Pants

Do you remember when you were a little kid and the Three Musketeers were really cool? Do you remember when you got fifteen years older and they weren’t anymore? Well, Paul W.S. Anderson is about to drudge up your troubled past with yet another film version of THE THREE MUSKETEERS. The bad news is that it is happening; the good news is that it will be in 3D which all but guarantees that the tips of lances will be thrust into the audiences faces on more than one occasion (not in the gay way). This news came from the Heat Vision Blog.

If you didn’t know because you’re some kind of iguana or something, THE THREE MUSKETEERS is about some guy in olde tyme France who wants to join the French army, so he starts following around these three other guys who used to be in the army, but got canned. They then have adventures while wearing large feathered hats.

Now, I know what you’re saying; “do we really need another Musketeers film?” The short answer is “yes.” The long answer is that if a Hollywood studio doesn’t create a new Musketeers movie every five years-or-so, then we’ll all forget that the novel was ever written. Libraries will shred their current copies (confusing them with porn) and future generations will never know the wonders of this classic tome that I never read. It’s all for the children!