Action Pants

According to the homo-sapiens over at Variety, director of “films,” Guy Ritchie, has signed on to direct the upcoming LOBO film. The movie will be PG-13 and find our anti-hero chasing a band of alien monsters to Earth where he must team-up with a teenage girl to bring them down and save the girl’s small town. It will also be awful.

Perhaps now would be a good time to explain who exactly Lobo is. Lobo is a comic book character that is a tall, pale alien bounty hunter who flies around in outer space on a motorcycle looking space-ship. He wears leather jackets with spikes on them, smokes cigars and swears a lot. He also enjoys swinging chains and shooting guns. On top of all that silliness, he’s also super-strong and practically invulnerable to harm. Here’s a reminder:

Too hardcore or just hardcore enough?

In other words, he’s a ridiculous character that was created as a parody of tough-guy characters to show how stupid most of them are. The reason he has any kind of following is because of his over-the-topness and because of the level of violence and mature crap that accompanied his adventurous tales of adventure.

With all that said, why does he require the aid of a human, teenager to take down these alien people? I’m sure they’re rough customers, but seriously, if the invulnerable, alien guy can’t get the job done, is the local cheerleader going to have a better go of it? Add that to the fact that it’s going to be PG-13 and you can basically rubber-stamp this movie as poop. And don’t even get me started on the fact that all the shenanigans will be occurring on Earth. It’s MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE all over again.