I had considered starting this review of SHERLOCK HOLMES by regaling you with my knowledge of the character to showoff and so that the person who reads these words could say that I was a moron and that they knew more about the adventures of the fictitious detective than anyone in history. Then I would get defensive and say something witty like “you’re a fat dummy” and then we would both angrily list our Sherlock resumes while rage filled the internet and kittens died alone in the street. Well, as a student of history, I am completely against the death of kittens (unlike that other guy) so I’m just going to get right to the movie…and by “right to the movie” I mean “get to it after a large block of meaningless text.” MY SITE!
Anyway, a few weeks ago a new movie starring the famous detective, Sherlock Holmes, hit the theaters. This one is directed by Guy Ritchie and he decided to replace all that deducing stuff that was in the books with running and hitting (a practice that is supported by Action Pants). The movie is about the previously mentioned Sherlock Holmes (played by Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark) who spends his time adorably poisoning his dog and getting into bar fights for money because his friend, Dr. Watson (Jude Law…with moustache!) is getting married and moving out of their bachelor pad or as the British call it, bachelor flat (knowledge is power!). But before he walks down the aisle Watson gets pulled into one more case involving the resurrection and continued shenanigans of the last person they sent to the noose; the spookily named Lord Blackwood (Mark Strong). Along the way they find out stuff, fight a mountain in slacks and learn the true meaning of friendship or something along those lines. Well maybe not so much the last part, but the learning and fighting is there.
It’s time I come clean and just admit that this movie was awesome. People who can’t stand deviations from source material probably won’t like this because it wasn’t just about looking at things and then explaining the mystery. This Sherlock did all that too, but that then led directly to action; which (if you’re wondering) is good. Holmes even used his powers of deduction to solve the mystery of “how do I knock this dude into next week,” which was an ingenious gimmick because you can imagine a mind like Sherlock’s attacking even a brawl as a puzzle to be put together.
I can honestly say though that this movie probably would have sucked if Downey Jr. wasn’t in it. Sure, he’s basically just playing a more eccentric and goofy Iron Man in olde (the “e” means it’s fancy) England, but it’s cool because the character is still great. Jude Law was good to, but Downey owned so much of the film’s real-estate that Watson could have been played by a delicious piece of hickory smoked bacon (with a moustache) and I wouldn’t have noticed.
All of the movies action scenes were great except for maybe the opening fight scene. It was cut a little too quickly and because all the characters seem to shop at the same Ye Olde Gap, I lost track of who was fighting who a few times. After Ritchie got that edit-bug out of his system, he seemed to settle down and things flowed better.
I’m not going to be that guy who spoils a movies ending because I’m too classy for that, but I will say that the ending was my favorite part. Not the very end mind-you, where things are finished and everyone smiles at the camera like they’re at the prom and then the credits roll. I mean the end of the case where Sherlock breaks it all down for you as he always did in the books. I love that crap in movies; you know, where the good guy has won, but he still feels the need to also explain that he is a billion (gazillion?) times smarter than the villain and that he better not ever bring that Crap-Fu into his dojo again! It made my heart glad.
In summation, SHERLOCK HOLMES is a really great movie that I would recommend to anyone that likes things that are great. The action is good and abundant, and when things do slow down, Robert Downey Jr. is there to take care of you and tell you stories. I look forward to the inevitable sequel.
