What Makes An American?

Posted on January 18, 2012 by Chris

The other day an article appeared at Entertainment Weekly that included an interview with THE AVENGERS director Joss Whedon. In the interview he talked about how he used Captain America as the anchor for the movie and the everyman character that the audience is supposed to relate too. It’s not a bad little read if you’re interested.

They also had a picture in there of Captain America that I hadn’t seen yet. I’ve snuck it in below.

Battle Hardened.

Good stuff. Steve Rogers is definitely the most “normal” of all the heroes in this movie, so it makes sense to put him in the middle. He’s also super-American, which is fantastic.

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A Man’s Best Friend Is His Weapon.

Posted on January 18, 2012 by Chris

Coming from the L.A. Times we have a new pic from THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY depicting Martin Freeman as Bilbo with the sword, Sting. We have no other context for this picture, so I’m assuming, judging by the pose and dirt, that Bilbo is thanking his Lord and savior Jesus Christ after completing a touchdown run.

Bless me oh Lord.

Since I have nothing further to say about this picture, let me mention that since the departure of the Broncos from the NFL playoffs I’m left without any interesting storylines to follow. It kind of sucks. I guess the battle of the Harbaughs could be O.K., but only if one of them turns evil before the Super Bowl and it becomes the job of the other to stop his reign of football terror. I’m guessing Jim will be the one to snap.

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A’ Hackin’ And A’ Slashin.’

Posted on January 18, 2012 by Chris

Now, I’ve heard of the comic book HACK/SLASH, by Tim Seeley and Stefano Caselli, but I’ve never really read it. Someone else has though and that person must have thought it would make a good movie so along comes Marcus Nispel who, according to Heat Vision, has been hired to direct said movie adaptation.

From what I’ve read, HACK/SLASH is about some girl who survives a horror movie-type slashing, but instead of being content with living and becoming a productive member of society, she wanders the countryside killing monster-slasher-people with the help of a giant guy named Vlad. Oh, and from what I’ve seen of the artwork, the chick also becomes a hooker.

As far as the movie goes, you may remember Mr. Nispel from the recent remake of CONAN THE BARBARIAN that few people saw and even less enjoyed. He also directed a few modern horror movies, so I guess he could be a good fit with this material.

So there you go, you’re now informed.

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Honest Abe Chopping A Vampire Tree.

Posted on January 18, 2012 by Chris

I think I may have gotten my ‘Mercan history a little screwed up there in the title, but whatever, I ain’t no history major (or English major, obviously)! Now, just to show you I don’t harbor any hard feelings over your anal attitude towards other people’s educations, here’s some new stuff from ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER.

Right off the bat let me hit you with this new poster! Bam, right in the kisser!

Four score and seven scalps ago.

How nice, though I didn’t know axes were now the defacto weapon for fighting vampires. I think a stake and hammer would have pushed the idea home a little better. This just makes it seem like he was a lumberjack in his spare time.

Now, how about some stills from Movie-Infos that show you some more axe action?! Too bad!

Let me axe you somethin'.

I always hate riding coach.

Usually the dude with the axe is doing the chasing.

Eh, more stuff with axes. And weren’t guns pretty common place at this point in history? Why wouldn’t Abe be rocking one of those if we’re not going to pay attention to normal vampire hunting doctrine? Seems like they just wanted to give him a signature weapon besides his silver tongue.

Alright, now let me show you this little behind-the-scenes video from MTV. Though I don’t want anyone to be fooled, like I was, by the title “Benjamin Walker Kicks Ass on the Set of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.” There is literally no kicking of ass depicted. It’s just a dude dressed as Lincoln standing on a set talking. It’s actually the opposite of ass kicking.

So really, don’t even bother to watch.

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Aliens In My Soup.

Posted on January 18, 2012 by Chris

In the title for this article, please make believe that people use the word “soup” as a stand-in for the word “ocean” all the time. It’s the only way it makes sense. Thanks.

But we’re not here to talk about my nonexistent grasp on modern slang; we’re here to look at a new international poster for BATTLESHIP, the movie about the U.S. Navy fighting intergalactic aliens at sea. Check it.

You're gonna need a bigger boat.

The poster is good and tells me that at some point a battleship will fight a giant alien ship at sea, which I assume will happen in this movie; so I’ve got no gripes.

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Dark Alleys…In SPACE!

Posted on January 18, 2012 by Chris

If your parents weren’t awful, then they have been telling you since you were very small that walking alone down dark alleyways is never a good idea. And that little nugget holds true, even when you’re in space. Case-in-point; this picture from PROMETHEUS via the L.A. Times. I mean, there’s nothing necessarily bad happening in it, but you can just tell it’s only a matter of time until some alien is asking for her credit cards and jewelry.

I smell...radishes.

Is it me or does that lady not look like she actually inhabits that hallway? It’s just a little weird, like a bad Photoshop job. Oh well, at least it seems like some alien statue thing may assault her; that’s somethin’!

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The God Of Thunderous Re-Writes.

Posted on January 12, 2012 by Chris

It’s pretty normal for a new version of a script to be created when a new director is brought onto a project after another director leaves, and that is what has happened to THOR 2: THOR HARDER. Alan Taylor rolled on up into the director’s chair and now he’s brought in some dude named Robert Rodat to work the script over like he owns it, so says Deadline. Some of Mr. Rodat’s previous script credits include SAVING PRIVATE RYAN and THE PATRIOT.

Like I said, this is pretty normal procedure so no one should be shocked about it and at least they got someone who seems to be pretty competent. Let’s hope he leaves the hound unturned.

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Alas, Poor Alien Head.

Posted on January 12, 2012 by Chris

If you’re really hard-up for information about/from the movie PROMETHEUS then keep reading because two new alien-head pics from Cinema Art Online popped up online. They’re just busts of alien monsters that haven’t been painted yet or anything so bring your expectations down a peg cowboy!

Trumpy! You can do tricks!

With my last breath I curse Zoidberg!

Oh boy! An humanoid looking alien with an elephant-like trunk?! That’s friggin’ bonkers! I’ve have literally never before seen anything even remotely resembling such a concept! Whoo, boy.

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It’s Not A Tomb-A!

Posted on January 12, 2012 by Chris

When I heard this bit of news coming from Ain’t It Cool I could have sworn I had mentioned at least part of it before, but I couldn’t find it, so…sorry. Anyway, apparently one Sylvester Stallone is ready to star in a movie called THE TOMB in which he will play a dude named Ray Breslin who is a high security prison designer that gets framed for something and is sent to (here’s the hook!) a high security prison. He then has to break out and chase his framer because waiting on appeals and due process would make for a boring-ass movie.

Now here’s the icing on this already sweet tasting ACTION-cake. It seems the Massive Oak-Chest himself is looking to star opposite Sly in an unnamed role. That’s right, Arnold Schwarzenegger, or Mr. Schwarzenegger to you!

This sounds kind of like TANGO & CASH but with Arnold instead of Kurt Russell, which is alright cause I love me some TANGO & CASH! I’ll always remember that movie for its SUV super-vehicle that-really-wasn’t and for that one guy who had that weird looking face. You know who I’m talking about? Yeah you do.

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A Man And His Bat-Suit.

Posted on January 12, 2012 by Chris

We’ve seen the trailer for THE DARK KNIGHT RISES and a plethora of stills from the production, but have we really SEEN The Batman? You can search your feelings for the answer, but no…No we haven’t; at least not like this. This is a full-on, clear shot of the new Bat-suit from the upcoming cover to Entertainment Weekly, via Collider. Check it out!

I need more straps!

If you click on the link you can also check out some Christopher Nolan quotes from the Entertainment Weekly article. It’s nothing groundbreaking or spoilerish, but it’s interesting in a “I like to read words” kind of way.

As far as the new Bat-suit goes, I just don’t think it’s busy enough. I count at least 17 perfectly clean spots on that suit where some kind of segmentation, strap, or buckle could be placed. Also, is it me or has Batman’s mask been getting tighter and tighter with every movie? I remember in BATMAN BEGINS his mask looked like he was borrowing it from his older brother, but now he looks anorexic.

I’m also a little disappointed with the Bat symbol. It’s like they went out of their way to hide it by making it the only part of the suit that is actually black. And with all the segmentation and moving parts, it kind of blends in. What a weird decision.

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