Archive for February, 2010

Some Fight For Dessert.

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

I must be even more out-of-the-loop than even I realized. Did you know that a movie was being made from the TEKKEN video-game? Well why didn’t you tell me?! I’m the one with the website built around crap like that; I deserve to know these things.

Anyway, a movie based on the video-game TEKKEN has been filmed…I think the people in the trailer are the only ones cheering. Speaking of the trailer, it is below this text. It’s pretty terrible, but if you find things like this funny,

Words escape me...

Words escape me...

you may enjoy it…but probably not. Behold!

As you may have noticed, that trailer has a few problems. It literally took me ten viewings to figure out what that guy with the generic tattoo was saying at the very beginning. I don’t recommend anyone else watching it that many times, so I’ll save you the agony and tell you he says “this is Iron Fist.” Yeah…it’s not as funny as I originally thought either.

That's much better.

That's much better.

The most damning thing that I can say about this trailer is that it’s boring. None of the fights look very exciting and none of the hits seem all that powerful. I’m also curious how winning a fighting tournament gives you control of the world. Though, now I’m a little worried that Brock Lesnar is secretly pulling Barak Obama’s strings…

If the trailer, just wasn’t enough TEKKEN for you (and I couldn’t blame you if it wasn’t), Coming Soon has some pics from the movie that may interest you. I have placed some of my favorites below.

Why don't people take me seriously?!

Why don't people take me seriously?!

NOOOOOOO!! MY CAREER!!!!

NOOOOOOO!! MY CAREER!!!!

Damn you're fine.

Damn you're fine.

You know, bullets are more effective when combined with a gun.

You know, bullets are more effective when combined with a gun.

It is nice to see Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa (a.k.a. Asian bad-guy) get more work. Sure, he only plays the one character in almost everything that he has ever done, but he’s just so damn good at it. I was just watching SHOWDOWN IN LITTLE TOKYO the other day and he was awesome as the Asian bad-guy who dry-humped some blond chick before slicing her head off with a katana. Don’t worry Tagawa, I’m sure this one will get you that Oscar that has, so far, eluded you.

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A Burning Rock Gathers No Bull.

Monday, February 15th, 2010

As feature length films continue to be made, trailers for the films not-yet-released continue to be handed to the internet. The latest trailer is for the movie CENTURION by Neil Marshall about some Romans who get jumped by some rather clean looking barbarians while hiking in the woods. You may enjoy it below.

More Centurion Videos

That’s not a bad trailer, if you enjoy average looking things. I don’t really think that the people who put it together understood what a “last stand” is. They apparently think it involves running and jumping off of cliffs when, in fact, it should mean the opposite of those things.

I kind of remembered the name of this movie from “articles” long passed, so I did some looking and my memory was accurate. This is the movie that has a chick that got super-powers by having her tongue cut out. They don’t really make much mention of that in the trailer and considering the super-hero craze is still going on, I’m a little surprised. Though maybe they were afraid of the (literally) hundreds of people who see this cutting off their own body parts in an effort to gain abilities slightly beyond those of normal men. I know from experience that this is not the case.

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Riddick Rolls.

Monday, February 15th, 2010

Boy, it seems like only March 13, 2009 that we last heard one Vincent Diesel talking about a possible third installment of the Riddick movie franchise. Now, instead of Vin simply talking to anyone who would listen (and everyone else too…except me…) we have confirmation from a studio that they are willing to give David Twohy actual currency to get this film made. You may read the confirmation mentioned in the previous sentence at this Variety link.

The best news coming out of this is that the new movie will be more like PITCH BLACK, which was good, instead of CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK, which was bad. As I’ve said before, I really like the Riddick character, so sticking with a smaller movie that emphasizes why he’s cool instead of trying to force coolness upon him by making up crap about him being the last of a stupidly named race and being destined to kill a guy in lame armor is a great idea.

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Bend It.

Friday, February 5th, 2010

I’m afraid that it’s been a long day and my energy reserves are running on zero, so I’m going to get right to the point (STOP CHEERING!). This Sunday, there will be a football game played in Miami and during that game a new trailer for THE LAST AIRBENDER will be debuted. In anticipation for this new trailer, the studio has released a trailer for the trailer. Gander away.

That’s a pretty sweet looking commercial. I’m actually pretty impressed that the effects looked as good as they did considering that they’re probably not finished yet. And the best part is that when the movie is over, we can all sit around and act like we all knew what the twist was before it happened! Good times.

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She Can’t Take Much More!

Friday, February 5th, 2010

For days now, the internet has been crying for; nay, demanding more video footage from the upcoming film titled KICK-ASS. And from upon high, descends the following R-rated trailer. Enjoy it if you are of age.

<a href="http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-GB&#038;from=sp&#038;vid=df8e1600-9d67-47ce-9b2b-6171d203b64d" target="_new" title="Kick-Ass - Trailer">Video: Kick-Ass - Trailer</a>

This is the third trailer/clip from this movie that I have posted which I feel is more than enough for any one movie, especially one that I’m not really looking forward too. So…yeah, that’s that.

I should be fair though; this was definitely the best trailer yet for this movie, especially the beginning. It wasn’t trying to be overly jokey and seemed to take itself at-least a little seriously, but (there’s always a “but”) then the second half kicks-in and it all falls apart. As soon as Hit-Girl appears, we’re assaulted with gimmicky and non-sensical action that tears down all my good feelings. Thanks a lot trailer, I didn’t want those good feelings anyway. I guess I’ll replace them with potato chips; like usual.

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Thud!

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010

If you enjoy watching people get hit, then you’re probably a fan of Tony Jaa. Thanks to there not really being any new or good martial arts stars, Tony has become the go-to guy for fisticuffs. After recently making ONG BAK 2, he’s broken the mold by making a trilogy as evidenced by this teaser for ONG BAK 3. Way to be different Tony.

After a few very positive “articles” in a row, I should have known that a turd was going to eventually float up the bowl. And lo and behold, here it is. The movie may not suck, but that was one of the worst trailers I’ve ever seen for a martial arts movie. The opening part where it explains his motives and shows the effeminate villain is pretty good, but once it actually starts showing fights, it is awful. None of the moves that are shown are interesting (possible exception being the elephant swing, but all credit for that has to go to the elephant) or powerful looking, the stages are bland and the sound effects were…I can’t even believe what I heard. EVERYTHING USED THE SAME SOUND EFFECT! EVERYTHING! All the punches, kicks, knees, bodies hitting elephants, bodies hitting the ground and even the damn words falling onto the title cards! Thud, thud, thud, thud; geez guys, branch out a little bit; try breaking celery in half. I know it’s just a teaser and that audio will (hopefully) change, but really, if that’s what you’re going to put in front of people to get them excited for your movie you must not think very highly of your audience or you just don’t give a crap.

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Don’t Touch Me Thermostat.

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010

If you’re like me, you miss the good-ole days. You know; back when the world was simpler, polar bears weren’t endangered and Mel Gibson starred in movies that involved shooting and high-kicking people in the face. Well, the polar bears might still be screwed, but at least Mel seems to be coming around! The small victories are sometimes the most important.

After his recent turn as a cop who beats up people in EDGE OF DARKNESS, Mel is also looking to star in a new spy movie called COLD WARRIOR. I know what you’re thinking:

This movie is actually about an ex-Cold War spy (that’s Mel) who must come out of retirement and joins forces with a younger (i.e. lamer) spy to thwart a terrorist threat.

This is the kind of stuff that I really dig! It’s a simple premise that is basically just an excuse to have Mel Gibson beat-up terrorists. I personally don’t think that Mel really needs an excuse, but I’m not his publicist. Anyway; the movie is also being directed by some dude named Shane Black who also wrote LETHAL WEAPON. This is a good sign.

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Words Can Hurt.

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010

It’s “new trailer” time! Are you excited?! Because I sure as hell am! Woo! I love watching pictures move!

This latest offering designed to incite anticipation for a little known release is for THE LOSERS. It’s my understanding that it is based on a comic-book, but don’t get yourself all psyched up like I did; it doesn’t involve spandex. It’s more like THE A-TEAM but with a smaller budget. Fill your eyes!

<a href="http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-us&#038;from=sp&#038;fg=MsnEntertainment_MoviesTrailersGP2_a&#038;vid=1b9d070f-aff2-47f6-8a86-9b2b44ec4fc6" target="_new" title="'The Losers' Exclusive Look">Video: &#8216;The Losers&#8217; Exclusive Look</a>

I’m in a particularly good mood right now (ROCKY IV soundtrack always gets the blood flowing) so maybe this movie just caught me at the right time, but this actually looks pretty good. Perhaps it’s a little to jokey, but not everything has to be all serious all the time. We here at Action Pants do condone the use of humor sometimes if it is used to expand upon a characters awesomeness. The pants-dropping thing in the elevator was a little much, but everything else hit the right spots. Good job THE LOSERS, keep up the losing!

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