Because you demanded more, along comes the movie THE EAGLE PATH; written, directed and starring Jean-Claude Van Damme. Van Damme stars as some guy who wants to protect some woman for reasons unknown, this means that he has to fight various guys with kicks and shoot other guys with guns. There is also a trailer that is ready for your viewing pleasure. The trailer is below.
Though not as stupendous as the UNIVERSAL SOLDIER trailer, this has its own charm. Though, I can’t say that I really know what is going on, but I’m sure it’s clearer when you watch it (God, I hope so). Is it me or does Van Damme look really femme when he does that “shoot two guys who are on either side of him while crouching” thing? That’s normally a pretty good tough-guy move, but he just looks weird. Stick to kneeing people in the head Jean-Claude.
If you love America, then you have seen and loved UNIVERSAL SOLDIER starring Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren as super-soldiers who fight each other and one of them ends up being ground-up in a piece of farm equipment. You probably also know that they not only brought back Jean-Claude and Dolph for a third installment, but also went the extra mile and got mixed-martial artist Andrei Arlovski to play a new super-soldier. And people get thrown off of buildings!
Along with the knowledge of its existence, there is also a new trailer. They also decided to change the name to UNIVERSAL SOLDIER: REGENERATION from UNIVERSAL SOLDIER: THE NEXT GENERATION which is good by me. Enjoy.
Maybe it’s just me, but that was awesome! I love the idea that our government has Van Damme just sitting in the back of their freezer like last year’s fruit cake just in case someone makes a super-soldier that they can’t just drop a bomb on for whatever reason. That’s a pretty sweet trump card to have. Also, special props to the “jumping elbow to the dome.”
Some news has sprung forth from the bowels of Heat Vision Blog stating that some guy named John Hlavin has been hired to write a fourth UNDERWORLD movie. There’s no news whether any of the “stars” of the previous movies will be back. What we do know is that this new movie won’t be another prequel and will attempt to do things slightly differently, whatever that means.
I have never been able to finish a full viewing of any of the UNDERWORLD‘s. I don’t think that makes me a bad person, but there might be a rule out there that I don’t know about. I just could never get that into them. Maybe it’s because I don’t like vampire movies or that they seemed to make the werewolves chumps, but I just could never muster much caring. But if you did dig these movies, I hope this news has brought a ray of sunshine into your otherwise drab day (I’m just going to assume your day is drab).
Apparently, in feudal Japan there were a bunch of Samurai swordsmen who avenged the death of their master by, I assume, killing people. This tale will now be turned into a movie titled 47 RONIN, currently being written by Chris Morgan and will star Keanu Reeves…yes, that Keanu Reeves. This news from Variety. The story also mentions that it will be incorporating fantastical elements like in THE LORD OF THE RINGS and have battle scenes like GLADIATOR and 300. It’s being directed by Carl Rinsch.
You’re probably going to expect me to hate this idea and you would normally be right, but for some reason…I don’t. Maybe I’m just getting old and mellower, but that story sounds pretty cool and Keanu is alright. He’s even half-Asian (so the article says anyway) so it’s not completely out of left field (though his Asian-ness is Chinese not Japanese, but that’s close enough for Hollywood). The fantasy elements sound like a dumb idea that won’t help out such a good story, and the person who wrote the article must have never seen either GLADIATOR or 300 if they think that their fight scenes were even remotely similar. Other than that though, could be good.
A small update has come down the line regarding the “Gods vs. villains” movie THOR. It appears that the god of thunder requires the aid of The Warriors Three to aid him in his battle against stuff. According to Variety, they will be played by Stuart Townsend, Ray Stevenson and Tadanobu Asano; who are actors.
I have no opinion of any of these fellows. I’m sure they’re very nice and give generously to charities of their choosing.
Back in 1997 a movie named KULL THE CONQUEROR was released upon an unsuspecting public. It starred Kevin Sorbo as the mercenary/barbarian created by Robert E. Howard. If you weren’t sick the day that it was in theaters, you were treated to an epic feast of cheese and feathered hair the likes of which hasn’t been seen in quite a while. Use this video to refresh your memory.
Just as an aside, that above video has two awesome parts in it, the first being the wizard guy who summons his staff from off camera. When you see that you’re like “holy cow! That came from somewhere over there that I can’t see! Maybe it was on the other side of the world and he pulled it through some kind of magical vortex or perhaps the staff was just on the other side of the room in an umbrella holder! Either way, I’m expecting a barrage of magical fireballs or summoned demons to battle our shirtless hero! How will he escape this epic challenge?!” But then, the dude just uses the spring loaded top to shoot a knife…come on! Sure, the snake handle comes to life, but it’s still not even close to what I was hoping for. I’m glad he is killed in a hilarious fashion by having his gimmick thrown back into his mouth.
The other awesome part is at the end when Tia Carrere has finished her transformation into that creepy looking demon (props for that design, monster design guys). The look on Sorbo’s face when it finally sinks in that he did “the nasty” with that is classic.
Why do I bring this up besides the fact that it’s a reason to bring up Kevin Sorbo? It’s because Paradox Entertainment is getting ready to make another KULL movie. This news comes from fantasy.fr, which is French. If you don’t know French (and honestly, why would you) you can still read the words “Paradox Entertainment” and “adaptation KULL.” Put the pieces together.
As far as I’m concerned you can never have to many barbarian movies. They’re like the leather-jacket wearing bad boys of antiquity and most of their movies (even the awful ones) are enjoyable on some level. I doubt Sorbo will be returning, which is too bad. He may not be the best actor in the world but he does seem to have a natural likability that is rare.
I was surfing the internet the other day (as I often do) and came across this small image file in a message board that made me smile. Enjoy it with your eyes.
If only it was a movie.
I have to say that, now that I see the CONTRA box again, I can’t believe I didn’t see these similarities before. I mean, they basically just traced over Arnold and gave him a sad-face and headband. The Stallone impersonator is more subtle, but that’s because he’s wearing a vest.
I honestly haven’t played CONTRA in forever, but I didn’t even remember there being an alien in the game. I just remember a lot of soldier type guys who you would shoot with rectangle bullets and possibly ninjas (all games back then had ninjas). Maybe he was at the end or something, I was never very good at it so I didn’t progress much past the second level.
This news is kind of old, so you’ll (and I think you know who “you” is) have to forgive my lateness. You may recall this bit of news regarding the fifth coming of our lord and savior, John Rambo. Stallone’s original idea for RAMBO V: THE SAVAGE HUNT was for Rambo to hunt a genetically advanced and savage creature that escaped from a military base. I was apprehensive but willing to give Stallone the benefit of the doubt.
Well it seems that I can have my benefits-of-doubt back because the gears have shifted. The movie mentioned above is going forward without Rambo and the next Rambo movie will be about Rambo going across the border where women have gone missing…I assume Rambo will be investigating the disappearances not-unlike Scooby-Doo; only when he finds the culprit he won’t rip a mask off their face, but instead will rip a face off their face. You can read all about it at Stallone Zone.
The blurb that Stallone gives doesn’t mention which border that Rambo will be crossing. When you hear “border crossing” your mind (as a U.S. citizen) usually jumps right to Mexico, but what if Stallone is throwing us a curve here? What if Rambo is going to Canada? If I lived in Canada I would be afraid…and like ice hockey.
Back in the magical year of 1996; a small, independent movie captured the hearts of millions and went on to gross “butt-loads” of money. That movie is, of course, INDEPENDANCE DAY by Roland Emmerich. It starred Will Smith as a hot-shot fighter pilot, Bill Pullman as a hot-shot United States President and Jeff Goldblum as a hot-shot nerd. They join forces with the entirety of the U.S. military to combat some alien invaders who have already destroyed a bunch of our stuff using lasers.
Because more is always better, Emmerich has told MTV that he is working on, not one, but two sequels to ID4 (ID4 was the stupid acronym that was designed for this movie because people couldn’t be bothered with syllables). In a fit of genius, Emmerich said that he is considering the title ID4: EVER for one of the sequels. Does anyone else hear golf-claps?
I am not opposed to an INDEPENDENCE DAY sequel; the aliens were pretty cool looking and had nice gimmicks like telepathy and STAR TREK shields. I don’t think they’d be as good as the first because a lot of the appeal of the original was the shock of seeing all those monuments and stuff explode. That was their whole ad campaign actually. So without that shock all we’re left with are the aliens and I don’t know if they can carry a movie by themselves. And really, we’ve already beaten these aliens, are we just going to rumble with another group of them? After a while you’d think they’d start looking elsewhere for oil and wood to power their spaceships.
In case you forgot, movie auteur McG was going to direct a new movie version of 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA. In my original “article” I mentioned that Sam Worthington was being looked at the be Nemo; well one thing led to another and all of a sudden Will Smith’s name was also being thrown around to be the Indian sub captain (the idea must scare the hell out of Pakistanis).
Anywho, the movie was probably going to be by the numbers and average, but thanks to the people over at Variety we have now learned that it won’t be happening. Perhaps it would be proper for us all to light some incense in its honor or something.
My name is Chris and I love action movies. Here, on the internet, I will share my thoughts and uninformed opinions on all things action. Join me, won't you?
